


What Matters

by gublerology



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Derek never left the BAU, Doomed Relationship, Fluff, It's already too late for them, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Season 15 Moreid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:21:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27951458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gublerology/pseuds/gublerology
Summary: Derek and Spencer have a much needed conversation on the floor of their hotel room's shower, both fully-clothed and soaking wet.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66





	What Matters

**Author's Note:**

> leave any requests for fics/concepts in the comments !! love u

The case had been a hard one. The local detectives weren't cooperating and because of that, another little girl had unnecessarily lost her life. It was only a matter of time before it happened again, and this is why Spencer wasn't surprised when Derek marched straight up to their shared hotel room at the end of the day without so much of a word to the rest of the team. Spencer just sighed, bid everybody goodnight, and made his way upstairs to make sure his coworker was ok.

"Derek?" he called as he opened the hotel room door. The place was empty, but he heard the shower running and hesitantly walked over to the bathroom. After a deep breath and some mental reassurance, he knocked and called Derek's name softly. Again, no answer. So he had no choice.

Spencer slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open, and the sight he was met with twisted his heart in an unexplainable way. Derek was sitting on the shower floor fully-clothed, legs pulled to his chest and arms resting on his knees as he stared at the ceiling and allowed the water to cascade over his body. His boots must've been soaking, his shirt uncomfortably plastered to his chest, but the blank expression on his face told Spencer that was the least of his concerns.

_Well, here goes my nice suit, _Spencer thought as he walked across the bathroom and pushed the glass door open even further. Within seconds he too was dampened by the stream of water, his tailored suit beginning to soak through as he sat criss-cross applesauce across from Derek in the hotel shower.__

__For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of rushing water and their even breathing. Then Spencer broke the silence._ _

__"Are you okay?" he asked quietly. The question sounded stupid the second it left his mouth. Did Derek look fucking okay?_ _

__The older agent must've been thinking the same thing, because a soft scoff was his only reply. Spencer swallowed hard, not wanting to press too much, but he knew the obvious emotional turmoil Derek was undoubtedly experiencing needed to be addressed. So he tried again._ _

__"If you want to talk, I'm listening."_ _

__Still nothing._ _

__Spencer was about to give up and leave him to wallow in peace when Derek finally sighed and let his eyes fall closed._ _

__"It's just hard, kid. That's all."_ _

__Despite the seriousness, Spencer had to bite back a smile. He was nearly 40 and Derek still insisted on calling him "kid."_ _

__"I know it is, Morgan. I really hate this job sometimes. But all the lives we save make it worth it, right?"_ _

__Spencer was trying his best to cheer him up or at least encourage him, but he could tell by the older man's expression that it really wasn't working._ _

__"Yeah, maybe." Derek whispered._ _

__The younger man bit his lip as he watched the elder. Then, after only a moment of hesitation, reached over and placed his hand on top of his. This sent an electrical feeling through Derek's arm, and for the first time he looked straight ahead and met Spencer's gaze. God he wished he hadn't._ _

__The kid somehow looked even more beautiful with water drops in his hair._ _

__"I know this case has been hard for you. I know you're probably blaming yourself, or the team, but you have to remember that it's no one's fault but the unsub's. He chose to kill Rosa. And Lily. And every other wonderful little girl that fell at his blade. Do you hear me? It's not our fault."_ _

__Derek took a shaky breath. He knew Reid was right, Reid was always right. But the only thing he could think about was the little girl's scream and how he could've saved her life had he been one minute earlier. Spencer seemed to sense this and gave his hand a squeeze._ _

__"You're so brave, Der."_ _

__The use of his nickname and the soft tone in which it was spoken was it for Derek, and there was nothing he could do to stop the next few words from escaping his lips._ _

__"God, I love you so much, Spencer."_ _

__The younger man's doe eyes widened and his cheeks turned a faint shade of pink, two things that reminded Derek no matter what happened or how much time passed he would always be his sweet pretty boy deep down. And the small smile that shortly followed told him all he needed to know._ _

__Derek knew in the back of his mind that this was probably the farthest they would ever get, that sitting on a cold shower floor with now freezing water running down their backs was the most intimate moment they would ever get to have with each other. But he was okay with it._ _

__The love confessions and silver moonlight reflecting against Spencer's eyes was enough._ _


End file.
